Elizabeth C. sent us two stories, which we have split into two separate posts. This is the second. Read her first story here.
In the second, I was dating an official and one evening when he was drunk, he punched me. Right in the gut. Because he was mad at me because I didn’t want to be around him while he was being a drunk arsehole. I was silent about it because I was worried that it would affect my staffing. After all, he had been officiating longer than me and since we traveled together… Then I ended up working different games from him (there are an awful lot of leagues in the area). However, he took that next season off. Then he returned and I found that I would stress before the game, I would worry and worry. I tried to go to another league’s practice only to find that he was also attending now. This was one of the closest WFTDA/apprentice leagues to me. After I found that he was affiliating with that league I dropped my connection with them. I went to work with another league that I had a good reputation with and after that game, after stressing and shaking and having difficulty with my calls and actually feeling cowed during the official reviews, during which he pestered the HR to such a point that my questioned call was overturned. Watching the camera afterwards, it was a textbook hit and my call should have stood. At the end of that game, I announced in the locker room, flanked by two officials who knew what happened and had supported me, that I would not ever work a game with him again because he had punched me and I could not focus on the game with those anxieties. He denies it, of course. The next day I post a brief announcement on Facebook to not staff us together with a summary of events including when he punched me. He wrote a long response saying that he was a long time supporter of derby and did not support punching women, and that I was a liar. Some leagues reached out to tell me that they would support me in that decision in that he wasn’t welcome. However, the league I worked with the previous evening decided that I caused an environment that made people uncomfortable and continued to staff him. He was affiliated with a league for at least the rest of the season, and many other refs continue to work with him. I was so very disappointed.